There are big, clear signs that itâ€™s pretty undeniably time to move on and go your separate ways. But there are smaller, more subtle signs too, that indicate this isnâ€™t the right relationship for you. Some people find it difficult to break up and become single again, but it is honestly much better to be in no relationship than a bad relationship. And chances are youâ€™ll be more likely to find a partner that is a great complement to you, and one you truly enjoy sharing your life with.
1. Your partner puts you down.
Of course itâ€™s imperative to mention the obvious deal breakers like physical, emotional or verbal abuse. If your partner puts you down, in an obvious and even not so obvious way, the relationship is unhealthy for you.
2. Your partner doesn’t respect you.
If your partner disrespects you – in front of others or privately. A good relationship has respect at its core. Mutual respect is essential or it is definitely time to break up. Life isnâ€™t a dress rehearsal.
3. Your partner tries to control you.
f your partner tries to control you – how you behave, who your friends are, what you wear, how you spend your time – this is a giant waving red flag. And men donâ€™t just control women, be very sure in heterosexual relationships women can control men too and itâ€™s just as wrong.
4. You’re not attracted to your partner any more.
If youâ€™ve been dating awhile and you cannot muster any attraction to them any more – you shy way from touches, you stop kissing and the idea of kissing turns you off â€¦ itâ€™s very hard to turn that around and if youâ€™re not married with kids, do you want to? Or do you want to find someone youâ€™re more compatible with on every level?
5. You avoid confrontation.
f you start to lie to your partner, or hide the truth – whether itâ€™s to avoid confrontation or because there are issues neither of you can cope with together. Lying snowballs into bigger and bigger gaps and untruths in your relationship and unless you are able to change that behaviour, the relationship will only get worse.
6. You believe you’re being lied to, or cheated on.
You believe you are being lied to, and perhaps cheated on. While relationships can survive infidelity and may not be a deal breaker for some, being lied to and betrayed certainly puts splitting up on the table for discussion. In these cases I strongly recommend counselling and mediation because often without guidance to change as a couple, this pattern will repeat itself.
7. You had different goals and values.
You find that what brought you together in the first place isnâ€™t enough to sustain a long term relationship because you have different values and goals. Itâ€™s very hard to build a life together if you donâ€™t agree on what kind of life you want to have. It will be a daily struggle riddled with conflict.
8. You don’t consider your partner a friend.
If you donâ€™t think of your partner as one of your inner circle of best friends (not everyoneâ€™sâ€™ partner is their best, best friend) and canâ€™t trust them with your feelings and vulnerabilities you will never be truly safe and comfortable in the relationship so donâ€™t take it a step further.
9. You don’t miss them.
If you find yourselves working long hours, or travelling a lot and not missing one another, not really minding the time apart, itâ€™s time to question what kind of relationship you have and what you want.
10. A little voice in your head tells you it’s time to let go.
If everyone important in your life is telling you the relationship is unhealthy, or that your partner is bad for you – and here is the important part – a little voice inside you, however small, agrees or thinks they just might have a point, no matter how frustrating that feels, listen.MYNEWSHUB